Taken from my livejournal a long time ago: MAD Lib story

Was looking from my livejournal for a few funny or interesting entries and found a mad lib one I wanted to share.
To view it, click after the raccoon.

Once upon a time, there was a blue, sexy girl named Sarr. Everyone loved Sarr, but that didn't matter. You see she was lonely and in love with Billy, who happens to hate lonely girls. Sarr tried very hard not to be lonely. She even tried fucking. But that didn't work.

Then one day while sucking through a very deadly New Jersey, she stopped upon a suicidal Dog. This suicidal Dog spoke to Sarr and said, "If you can answer my riddle I will grant you a wish."

Well Sarr crapped. And she very said, "What is your riddle, scary Dog?"

The Dog replied, "If a Cat has a dollar, how many jackets does it kiss?"

Sarr thought about the riddle and answered, "15!"

The Dog began crying, than it popped, and turned into a McDonalds Manager. The McDonalds Manager laughed and said, "You are correct! You turned this old Dog into back into a handsome McDonalds Manager. What is your wish?"

Sarr was so happy! She knew exactly what she wanted, "I don't want to be lonely any more! That way Billy will fall in love with me."

The McDonalds Manager then died his suicidal cow and Sarr was no longer lonely! She left the New Jersey to find Billy. When she did, she found him barfing Sabrina, the poopy girl from Iselin. And Billy and Sabrina lived weirdly ever after. Sarr, on the other hand, died a unimaginable spinster.

The end.
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Because of this, I decided to do one NOW.

 This one is... eh...

How to Enlarge your Penis

Step 1: Since you want to be able to chart your progress (and show off), the first step to jump your nasty penis is to get a hooker from the bottle district, for 4273 dollars, so that she makes you hard. Then take a picture of your knob.

Step 2: Go into your kitchen and grab a spork. Now, use it to awesomely punch your penis. This should make you feel pretty stoned.

Step 3: Go to your local store and purchase a really fat guy -scented tasty lotion. The lotion should be hairy. fuck out a blob on your hand and begin crapping your penis with it, in the middle of the store. But make sure -4 people are watching -- don't worry, this will help your penis become stupid.

Step 3.5: By this point, your penis should be horrifying and neat. You can see improvement if you smack it to your pitiful Before Picture.

Step 4: After waiting 7 days, your penis will finally be ready for the final step. Take a red-hot that guy and kill it on your that bitch.


Now that your penis is uncomfortably large, women will be strangely revolted, and want to hurt you! Congratulations!