A Wild Post Appears!

 Wow, I haven't done this is WAY too long. Sorry if this ends up more text heavy than my past entries.

It's been more than ten years since I've updated this blog in any way. I MAY have done some touching up on the guides, but definitely nothing that was significant. 

Last I left off, I had started work at Fed Ex, which was giving me a proper work out. That place paid me the best I ever had. But holy hell was it awful. 

Man, I can't believe blogger saved all these old ass images I used to use. But this is fitting.

I went through more than 12 managers in 6 months at one point. They treat you like a number, don't give a shit about you unless you are calling out or underperforming, and handed out write ups like candy. They also attempted to break a few labor laws I noticed, and I had to call them out on it. 

Some examples being told we have to fill out some survey or saftey meeting thing at the end of a shift. Manager starts going over it when a higher up asks what he was doing. Manager tells him, and the higher up says "Well have them punch out first!" As soon as he told us to punch out, I just left. If I'm not being paid, I don't have to do it. And guess what? Nothing came of it.

Another example ended up how they would do write ups. You could be doing fine, but if your section failed, you could be getting a write up despite doing all you could. I started just throwing them out, and guess what? Nothing came of it.

I actually hurt myself so many different times there. My first day during training, a box with hard plastic came zooming down the conveyer belt and caught the side of my arm. Immediately bleeding pretty bad. My trainer got me some alcohol wipes and a band aid at least, but still, what a first impression. Also thought I gave myself a hernia at one point despite doing proper lifting procedures. BTW, they tried blaming me on that in the safety report.

At one point I also hurt my wrist, and instead of being allowed to go to a doctor, they wanted me to consult with their 'Wellness Coach' who had a voice very reminiscent of the male Wii Fit Trainer. I swear, I thought he was going to ask me about doing some deep breathing. His solution was put ice on the wrist on and off, with a heat compress every now and then, and maybe a brace. And I was to come into work, talk to wellness coach (they tried to tell me don't punch in, but fuck that shit if you are requiring me to come in) and if I didn't feel like I could lift, then I could go home. They didn't SEND me home, because then they would have to pay. They 'offered' the option and hey, they won't write me up for it! And of course, all light duty areas are always taken up by the retirees that have connections with the company. 

I also wouldn't be surprised if that place gave me some sort of lung issues. There was SO MUCH DUST! I come home dirty as hell, and if I blew my nose, my mucus would be gray. The inside of those trailers are NOT cleaned (or if they are, not often) and they only had dusty fans to help keep us cool. 

They also loved to say things were mandatory despite being unenforceable. They said in our contract, we would have to work on Sundays or Saturdays (despite me being part time and already working monday to friday) during holiday seasons. I checked my contract and... nope, not there. Told the manager, nah, not doing that. They tried to write me up and I told them it wouldn't hold up. They showed the write up in my face and I refused to sign it. Eventually, they bargained with me, and I would come in for SOME of those days but not EVERY Weekend. They also tried to have me sign a new contract to which I refused. 

They also wanted to try and force mandatory meetings BEFORE work without punching in and I told them if you require me to do something it will be on the company time. I punched in anyway and told them if they edit it, I'm calling a labor board. They only tried editing things a few times, but I spoke to my managers each time, and they did change it back themselves (Was higher ups trying to pull crap, not the managers).

What cause me to leave there finally was when I had finally found a section that I vibed well with, they suddenly told me as I walked in "Hey, you're going to Section C, they need help. Permanently." So my reward for being a good worker is sudden relocation with no thought of giving me a heads up, asked input, or care what I felt. I gave it a day, then said, "Fuck this place," handed my new manager a 2 week notice cause I was DONE.

The money was excellent and all, even more than where I currently work, but they CAN afford to do that. Bribe you to ruin your body more. I don't know if it still is the same there, but any time I hear someone consider going there, I let them know how bad it was, and to check their options before doing it. 

Hmm, I think that's enough for now. I just felt the need to write things out and throw it our there. Let's see when I next update, haha!

Why someone doesn't like the holidays.

I know it's rather late, but found this story randomly, and wanted to share it. Kind of sad...

...in other news, Happy New Year? :X In the new year I'm totally going to dump massive pictures of my puppy, so more uplifting post tomorrow haha!

Mr. Autodelete, Part 2. It gets sciency

Part 1

Everyone kept chattering on about how silly this was, while Kathleen and I kept telling them to pipe down. When the time came, there was no voice, and some of our friends and family started asking us where was he? Then the voice came, which freaked out my friend Tara. "Hello, once again," came the elegant voice filled with pity. "I see I have an audience today. Well, so be it, ask your questions!"

The first "question" came from my father, who thought this was some elaborate trick, and unplugged the computer. Others in the group yelled at him for "ruining the show," but Mr. Autodelete spoke again, saying something about how he hoped that this answered his question. Tara whimpered and excused herself from the room, for this was a bit too much for her. Kathleen and I pleaded with the rest of our friends and family to please calm down. Even though we both were scared, we knew we should take this time to ask questions instead of panicking.

"How are you speaking to us?" Kathleen's mother Caroline asked. Mr. Autodelete sighed, muttering how silly a question it was considering what would happen. He told her all he needed was an electronic device with speakers attached, and he could inhabit the hardware with a power source strong enough to keep it going.

My sister spoke next, asking why he wished to kill us, but I answered for him instead. "He told us already before, he doesn't want to he simply has to." To which Mr. Autodelete confirmed, along with an apology. Quite angered, my father yelled how can he say 'sorry,' for something so horrible, to which Mr. Autodelete sighed once more.

"Would you rather I simply say, 'tough luck,' and not speak to you again, leaving you and your family in wonder to when the end should be coming?" Dad didn't take that too nicely, but my mother calmed him down. Kathleen and I apologized to him, hoping he didn't take offense, and that we just wished he could now elaborate on why he must do this, and so he began.

"My planet is so much like yours, with birds, animals, flowers and so on. So much alike, we even have the same people as you, with the same quirks and personality and lives. So much alike, it seems to break a law of physics; the same matter cannot occupy the same space. For example we have the sunflower just like yours. Upon some observance, we found out they have the same exact life rate as yours. Not so much that they have the same life span, but at the exact moment a sunflower in Wyoming died on your planet, the same happened on ours in the same place..."

"Wait, so you have a United States in your world, too?" butted in Kathleen's friend Tracy.
"My dear, we have a Europe, Africa, North America and South... everything you have we have... almost."
"Almost?" Spoke another cousin of mine, Ginny.
"Yes, for you see, some life on our planet has gone extinct while on your planet it has not. The animals you call dogs and cats bred differently so they have ceased to exist. However, I'm afraid the same cannot be said for humans. On our planet, there is another Ginny, who talks, speaks, looks and thinks just like you. She lives in the same state, has the same grades, and likes the same books as you."

Ginny looked quite frightened (reasonably so since he somehow knew her name) which is when Jamie, her older sister had butted in. "So let me get this straight... Because a law of physics has been betrayed, you believe you HAVE to eliminate all of that life form's species?"

Mr. Autodelete chuckled softly, not in humor but with even more pity. "I am afraid it goes beyond belief as more of a certainty. While our worlds are so very the same, there are small differences. The difference may continue to exist, which is why your dogs and cats are allowed to stay. One of our differences is we have a better grasp on technology than you. We have developed things so complex you wouldn't begin to understand what they were. Thanks to our development we have discovered an anomaly with the universe, and with some research, we found that the universe would cease to exist at a shorter period of time than it was originally given."

"How is that possible?" I asked. This just seemed impossible; how could anyone have the knowledge of knowing all this. Our polite villain simply replied it would not be something we would understand. He then excuse himself, for he had a schedule to keep, and that he would visit us one last time tomorrow to inform us of some pertinent details, perhaps take final questions, and then he would cease interrupting our final moments.

Mr. Autodelete, a dream of mine turned story.

His name was Mr, Autodelete. I suppose he was the villain in this story, but yet he was a merciful one. He had no problem talking to me or other earthlings when we asked why he wanted to disrupt life on our planet; he simply had to. It was just a matter of survival.

The world had already known about it incoming demise, and so there was chaos. Many people traveled around the world trying to find some sort of salvation. Others accepted their demise and stayed in their homes, waiting for impending doom. My family, instead, was heading to the location where Mr. Autodelete would enter and destroy the rest of the undesired life on our planet.

Before the world knew of its doom, people could sense something wrong still. In the news, people were reported going crazy and then simply dropping dead. What they didn't know was it was part of an alien planet similar to ours absorbing the life out of the humans. Some other life was facing similar struggles, such as all birds, rodents, and bees. Dogs and cats seemed to be fine, and in plant life, trees seemed to be completely unaffected, but flowers were facing mass extinctions. The governments of the world claimed other nations were doing this to them with biological warfare, which is why certain life was fine, yet others were being wiped out. That did not exactly make sense. If a death occurred in public, none around would follow suit.

Before it all started, I was playing with my cousin, Kathleen. We were playing a puzzle game on the computer, when Mr. Autodelete found us. An elegant voice that sounded like it was full of pity greeted us. Kathleen thought we were on some voice chat website, and tried to click off the page, but the voice assured us it was not a human. Of course, why should we believe strange voices heard on the computer? I turned off the computer, a little scared I may have gotten a virus, but relieved it was over. That is until, the voice continued speaking.

"I am here to inform you that your planet will be suffering a mass extinction of its life," The voice spoke with a tinge of sympathy. "I am sorry that you are the first to know this, but I wished to make sure you knew in advanced so you may cope and enjoy the time you have left with your loved ones with you while you can."

Kathleen, clearly frightened, asked who was he. He said we probably could not pronounce his real name, so just call him, "Mr. Autodelete." It seemed fitting enough to him. He probably took the word off the computer and arbitrarily made it his name. I asked him why did he want to kill us all. He had a small laugh, and said he desired not to kill everyone we knew and loved, but simply had too! We wished him to elaborate, but said he had others to alert, and simply to tell our family. He would be back at this same time tomorrow.

Of course, when we told our family and friends, no one believed us. "You probably just got a computer virus!" "You sure the radio wasn't on?" "Maybe you called someone by accident and they were messing with you!" We then told them we could prove it if they come over tomorrow around the same time we heard Mr. Autodelete's message. Our parents and my sister said okay, why not, and a few of our friends said they'd be willing to hear it, but many others said they would be busy. The next day came and we waited by my computer, hoping yet dreading Mr. Autodelete's voice.

Taken from my livejournal a long time ago: MAD Lib story

Was looking from my livejournal for a few funny or interesting entries and found a mad lib one I wanted to share.
To view it, click after the raccoon.