Religion.

 Lately, it feels religion talk has become popular among my friends to talk about. Almost all of them are atheist, but take on the asshole stereotype of atheist, and like to bash all forms of religion for no reason. (This applies to my real life friends, not anyone on blog, so trust me, I am not posting this to target you) So I figured I'd write about my beliefs, not really to argue but just to put my thoughts out for myself.

When it comes to religion, I identify myself as Agnostic. I'm not sure I qualify as the definition of Agnostic, but it is the closest I can find to my beliefs. I believe some sort of superior being had to have created the existence we know as the universe, MAYBE even some of the earth life, but that is far as it goes. The rest is how science tells us; evolution brought humans and the animals we see to the world.

I do not believe this same superior being is watching over us lovingly on some clouds, waiting for us to get to the next plane of existence. I don't think I logically believe in heaven or hell, but truly wish them to exist (at least heaven anyway) for the sake of my sanity in coping with death. I can understand how foolish it seems to believe in such things, but when my mind tries to wrap around the idea of just not existing anymore, it scares me to a point close to a panic attack (writing that gave me the shivers a bit actually).

All this said, I do believe in spirits of sorts that can be watching over me. I believe my old family members may be watching over me in some sort of plane of energy that I cannot explain, and if I had to debate it, I would lose. Hell, I feel silly trying to explain my reasoning on this too, because my mind thinks it's rather illogical, yet I refuse to let myself stay on that thought pattern. Based on dreams I have, where I see my dead family members, I feel there is some sort of contact. Yeah, I'm guessing whoever is reading this might be snickering now. It IS stupid to think that, thus I'm not going to try convince you I'm right, because I can't say I am. It's one of those instincts in my head to not dismiss the idea.

Enough about that though, I am pretty sure I made myself look foolish enough. Even though I am agnostic, I do respect just about all forms of religion and atheists (except scientology, that is just blatantly a scam). each person should be allowed to have their own beliefs, just not to try and push it on another. There is a place for religion, I believe, and that's to learn your morals.

Maybe not in all cases, but I know I was raised protestant (I hope that's the spelling), and for the brief time I was going to church, I did learn some of my morals. As I grew older and learned more things in science, I started to question some of the more radical teachings from my church, and eventually that grew to atheism for a very brief time (it was not true atheism anyway, I was in high school and it was the cool thing not to believe), but then led me to being agnostic. My morals stayed with me throughout my life, and I hope they have led me to be at least a decent person.

I suppose one could argue because I was tainted with church teaching at first and then science, I became the hybrid, heh. But still I just wish people to be able to respect each others religions, stop knocking mine into atheist category, and stop the stupid insults (though I will throw in scientology being more of a cult really).

And after reading all this, I see my ADHD totally took over when I was in one train of thought. I think I said all I wanted though.