New Years flop.

Almost every New Years, my best friend and I get together to just chill at my house watching movies and playing video games while eating tons of party food. It's a simple thing, mainly because we aren't the most social people. Unfortunately for the last two years, she has been getting worse with her social problems and now hates to stay out too late from her fucking house. I don't exactly blame her, I've known for years she has some fears she needs to conquer, but it feels like she stopped trying, which is what pisses me off more. I try to talk to her about it but I feel like I am being such an asshole for suggesting it since I don't know what she is going through, and probably never will completely understand it. She and I work differently. I have a few social issues, but I can force myself to do something because I'm a stubborn asshole. She is stubborn in the opposite way, where she will stubbornly try to stay in her "content" zone.

I've thought of ideas such as going to her house instead for New Years so she won't have to feel afraid to leave her house or whatever at so late at night. Problem is there would be no real party food (their oven has been broken for awhile, so no mozzarella sticks, onion rings, cocktail weenies and so on), her father is a paranoid, controlling guy that has good and bad days so there's a good chance things would just suck anyway... There's  a good chance she will see this entry, which i am prepared for. As is, I am not exactly ANGRY at her, but more frustrated with how she decides to deal with things. You can't conquer your fears without going outside your comfort zone once and awhile, you will have to eventually face them. She just doesn't seem like she wants to however.

Besides her, I have another "friend" who I was sort of close to for awhile, but lately just hasn't been a friend and more of an online friend despite how close we live nearby. I don't care too much though, because he still has the high school mindframe going for him anyway.

My other best friend (whom also is my cousin) keeps herself so busy I rarely get to see her, and she doesn't have time for me at all really. In fact, it's gotten so bad, I feel like I have to watch what I say around her when we used to be so open about things.

I've been looking into events around my area, but they are so far away. I rather not go driving back home late at night on New Years only because I KNOW drunk drivers and police will be out. My car has an expired inspection sticker still so if a cop pulled me over, I'd be looking at a fine still. Any place that actually is near me is so fucking expensive unfortunately... except one place actually but has police crawling around it.

So yeah, to put it simply/TL;DR: I need new friends, nothing remotely interesting to do for New Years, and...

I mad.